Changing Your Thoughts with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
When making changes in my life—or supporting others through their own transformations—I often notice the power of internal dialogue. In many cases, the most impactful shift isn’t the external change itself but rather the way we speak to ourselves in the process.
This realization led me to reflect on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and how certain thought patterns can hold us back from becoming our best selves.
CBT is highly effective in addressing anxiety and depression by identifying and reshaping negative thought patterns that contribute to these struggles.
In this blog, we’ll explore 12 common negative thinking patterns that often get in the way. For each, we’ll define the distortion, provide an example, and suggest a healthier alternative. By becoming more aware of our thought life, we can gain deeper self-understanding and focus on the changes that will truly support our well-being and life goals.
Description: Viewing situations in extremes, as either perfect or a complete failure.
Example: “If I don’t succeed completely, I’m a total failure.”
Change: Encouraging more balanced thinking, such as recognizing partial successes.
Description: Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen, even if it’s unlikely.
Example: “If I make a mistake, I’ll lose my job and never recover.”
Change: Learning to assess situations realistically and focus on likely outcomes rather than extreme ones.
Description: Assuming one negative event applies to all future situations.
Example: “I failed this test, so I’ll fail every test.”
Change: Identifying this pattern and basing conclusions on specific events rather than broad assumptions.
Description: Focusing only on the negative aspects of a situation while ignoring the positive.
Example: “I got one critical comment on my presentation, so it was a disaster.”
Change: Practicing gratitude and actively acknowledging positive feedback or outcomes.
Description: Rejecting positive experiences or accomplishments as insignificant or undeserved.
Example: “Anyone could have done what I did; it wasn’t that great.”
Change: Recognizing and accepting compliments and successes as valid and meaningful.
6. Mind Reading
Description: Assuming others are thinking negatively about you without evidence.
Example: “They didn’t say hi, so they must not like me.”
Change: Asking for clarification or learning not to jump to conclusions without evidence.
Description: Predicting negative outcomes without considering other possibilities.
Example: “This project will definitely fail, so there’s no point in trying.”
Change: Focusing on preparation and effort rather than assumed failure.
Description: Placing rigid and unrealistic expectations on yourself or others.
Example: “I should always be perfect, or I’m not good enough.”
Change: Reframing these into flexible, compassionate statements like “I’d like to do my best, but it’s okay if I’m not perfect.”
Description: Believing that feelings reflect facts.
Example: “I feel worthless, so I must be worthless.”
Change: Separating feelings from objective reality and challenging their accuracy.
Description: Assigning a negative label to yourself or others based on one incident.
Example: “I made a mistake, so I’m a failure.”
Change: Viewing behaviors as separate from identity, e.g., “I made a mistake, but I’m learning.”
11. Personalization
Description: Blaming yourself for events outside your control.
Example: “My friend is upset—it must be something I did.”
Change: Considering alternative explanations for others’ emotions or actions.
Description: Deeply ingrained beliefs about oneself, others, or the world that are overly negative or limiting.
Example: “I’m not worthy of love,” or “The world is a dangerous place.”
Change: Gradually challenging and replacing these beliefs with more balanced and empowering ones through evidence-based reflection.
Our thought patterns shape the way we see ourselves, others, the world, our circumstances, and even our future. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) systematically addresses these distortions, helping individuals develop healthier ways of thinking that can reduce anxiety, depression, and other negative emotional states.
I can confidently say I’ve experienced all 12 types of cognitive distortions at some point in my life. Some things that have helped me shift these patterns include:
1. Becoming aware of them.
2. Recognizing how they hinder rather than help me.
3. Reframing my thoughts—or those of others—using more neutral and balanced language.
4. Learning communication techniques and philosophies that challenge my beliefs, allowing me to keep what serves me and reconsider what doesn’t.
I’m still working through some of these distortions, and I invite you to reflect on your own thought patterns. What types of distorted thinking do you notice in yourself, and why do you think they show up?
One way to explore this is by keeping a thought journal for a period of time. You can use this CBT Thought Record Worksheet as a guide.
Next month, I’ll be sharing a blog on how to use CBT techniques to shift your thought patterns. In the meantime, I encourage you to simply be curious—are any of these thought patterns showing up for you? Do they impact your life in a way that makes you want to understand them more and make changes?
